Chapter One
“The quiet but inexorable breaking down of self-esteem is much more sinister—it’s a violation of the soul.”
—Rachel Abbott
Bella
“I have the perfect idea,” Esme said as she lifted her glass of wine. “I’ll hire a dude to run him over with a Hummer.”
I almost choked on my merlot. I’d been thinking about similar methods of offing my ex. Each one a much more painful death than the idea before. “Not a bad idea, but messy.”
“Maybe, but it would be fun. Even better if you were behind the wheel. There must be fifty plus a million ways to kill your lover,” she continued, belting out the old country tune with updated phrasing.
“Yes, there definitely is.” I knew that well. I could never count the number of poisons Joel could ingest where no one would be the wiser. I’d easily be able to get away with murder given my current profession. What physician didn’t know about poisons? Although I was beginning to wonder how long I’d have my medical license so I could gain access to any toxic concoction.
I dug my fingernails into my palms, reminding myself I was escaping his tyranny.
“How about you bring him by the restaurant and I’ll add the poison to his food.” She was pleased with herself, shifting back and forth on the floor in a happy dance. “I’m also very good with a filet knife, remember.”
Bloody images filled my mind.
“I don’t think that’s the best thing for your successful career as a chef. Do you?” At least she could make me laugh.
“Party pooper,” she hissed and shook her head. Suddenly, it was like a light bulb went off inside that wacky brain of hers. “Why don’t I cut to the chase? My cousin knows some people. You know what I mean. People. They don’t necessarily follow the letter of the law. With a single phone call and a little bit of cash, your issue will vanish. Unless you’d prefer it like in The Sopranos series where the bloodied, chopped-up body washes up on the shore. Oh, I know, his body could be sent to his asshole father via Fed-Ex. That should do the trick.”
It would do the trick alright, including landing our asses in jail.
The woman was not only my best friend but my cheerleader through this… disaster of a life I currently had. As soon as my best friend leaned over, she sloshed wine on her pants and didn’t even seem to notice. I had to steady her with her arm to keep her from falling over. “You’re drunk, girl. I love you for all your magnificent thoughts, but I honestly don’t think I’d do well in prison.”
She snorted. “I beg to differ. You’d be the belle of the ball and it would be worth it to carve Joel up into teensy-tiny pieces. He’s a bastard. He hurt you.”
“Yeah, I know.” My knight in shining armor had turned into a gaslighting prick with a God complex. That was being kind.
That had been established even before I’d walked into my bedroom finding him in bed with my former friend, a woman from work I’d thought I could trust. Susie had been doing nothing more than playing a game with me while fucking my husband. Another wave of anger boiled my blood. “You haven’t even mentioned Susie’s demise.”
Her laugh was filled with an evil tone. “Oh, girl. I’ve written down on paper how that bitch will be terminated. Maybe thin razor wire.”
Now she sounded like Arnold in a famous sci-fi movie. After everything I’d been through, all the horrible threats and innuendoes as well as recent efforts to derail my career, at least I could count on Esme to make things seem less horrible. “I’m going to miss you, girl.”
“Then why are you going? Stand up for your rights!”
My rights were to get the hell out of Baltimore to somewhere I could start over without a rich dickhead breathing down my neck, acting as if he was going to take my daughter away from me. He wasn’t even her sperm donor, let alone her father. Granted, Joel had been the only father Cally had ever known, but he’d shown very little interest in her until I’d tossed him from the house.
“I’ve tried. You know that. I have a little girl and a career to try and salvage.” The video my ex had sent only a week before had reminded me quite painfully of the power and influence he had in Baltimore. His family was rich and could easily ruin me by making a few phone calls.
“Why is that bastard rearing his ugly head after you filed for divorce almost six months ago?” Esme scoffed. She tossed her hair in my direction, another highlight of her contempt for the man.
“Because he fucked up on a surgery and I was asked to take over. He blames me.” He was even reprimanded by the hospital administrator. The man didn’t like my ex very much and made it quite apparent whose corner he was in. That’s when things had gotten really ugly, his last visit leaving bruises. I couldn’t tell Esme the worst of it or I had no what she would do.
“Take him down. Go to the press. Make it known how he treated you and baby Cally.”
I shifted against the couch, avoiding another round of tears like the plague. I’d cried enough over the loss of my marriage. I’d thought it a fairytale, not a nightmare. “I just can’t do that to Cally.” My daughter was the best thing that had ever happened in my life. I was determined to provide her with a better life.
“I get it, but this isn’t like you. Running away?”
Maybe I was, but after going through all the scenarios, I knew there was no other chance at finding happiness. “What other choice do I have?”
Not that her influence over a man who had ties to some pretty bad people didn’t sound appealing.
She huffed and jerked up, her body swaying from the amount of wine we’d consumed. “More wine and ice cream. That’s what the doctor ordered.”
“I need to go home.”
“Cally is already asleep and I refuse to allow you to drive. Besides, with you determined to leave in the morning, I need to spend as much time with my bestie as possible. Where the hell are you going again?”
“Just someplace special.” I’d thrown a dart at a map of the surrounding states, hoping to land somewhere I’d find happiness.
If that was possible.
“Well, you’ve got guts, lady. I’ll give you that, but my offer to have him taken out like the bastard he is still stands.”
“And I love you for it.”
After she walked from the room, I pulled my phone from my jeans pocket. I’d watched the ugly video at least fifty times and every time pulled me further into darkness and hatred. If he released the raunchy video to the press or the hospital administrators, my career would be over anyway. I’d been so stupid to trust him. I’d been blinded by his wealth and good looks, falling into the predator’s lair.
The only thing I could do was to start a new life.
And pray my past wouldn’t follow.
[divider]Chapter Two
Jagger
“I fucking hate holidays,” I snarled as Shephard and I walked from the elevator toward the lobby of the resort. Foxhead Resort and Winery was exploding with business, which did little more than irritate the hell out of me.
I hadn’t been born or raised to be responsible for the financials of a multimillion-dollar operation.
I’d been born to fight.
And to kill.
“All of them in general or just Christmas?” My older brother Shephard had amusement in his tone.
The Fox brothers had been mandated to leave our lives, accepting our father’s ‘gift’ of controlling the business in exchange for our full inheritance. It was basic blackmail, but the three of us, who’d barely gotten along as kids as it was, had been forced to work together.
I’d loathed almost every day since.
I gritted my teeth as we moved through a large group of guests. They’d all headed for the resort for the winter festivities and the goddamn festive atmosphere in the tiny town. We were packed to the gills, every snow lover in the world landing in Danger Falls.
“Every single one of them,” I answered. I was used to traveling the world, indulging in the finest foods and liquors, not babysitting tourists determined to get lost in the mountains or break a fucking leg. Plus, I’d lived alone, never forced to deal with people.
At least as long as they were alive.
“What’s his problem?” Hunter asked as he walked toward us from another direction.
My younger brother had sipped too much of the small town’s Kool-Aid, enjoying living in such a confining space. It shouldn’t piss me off that he’d sold out for a better way of life, but it did. We weren’t close, barely burying the hatchet, but agreeing to run the resort and winery. But they both thought they could butt in whenever they felt like it.
Fuck them.
“He’s grousing about the decorations and the lively guests, I’m assuming,” Shephard told him.
Hunter laughed. “He’s more of a pessimist than you are.”
“Stop fucking with me. I don’t need to like shit.” Yeah, I was grumpier than ever. Maybe it was because some kid had run into me with his damn hot chocolate, nearly scalding my arm. I smelled like one big chocolate factory.
“Oh, come on. The snow has brought us more guests than ever.” Shephard had become the head of the resort, his adoration of the place driving me bat shit crazy. “Plus, our profits are up fifteen percent. According to the financials you just provided anyway.”
I glanced in his direction, shaking my head. “Yes. We are making money hand over fist at this point.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“The problem? I feel like a boulder is going to drop on our heads.” I had been feeling like that for a couple of months. There was no legitimate reason for my glass half empty thoughts, but my instincts were kicking into high gear. There were people who hated us in this town, including the Young family, who up until our father’s arrival had been the richest family in town. That meant the lot of them could lord their wealth over everyone else living within the city limits.
“Always the pessimist.” Hunter shook his head. “I hear you, bro, but you need to stop looking at everything as if it were half empty.”
“Nope,” I countered. “The glass is going to be shattered.”
Shephard was forced to stop moving as an employee approached with whatever paperwork he needed to sign. Hunter lagged with him, asking questions of one of the restaurant employees.
I kept walking and I didn’t care if they tried to keep up.
Suddenly, Shep was right there by my side once again. Sometimes, I thought the man had a death wish.
“Seriously, what’s up? You’re grouchier than usual.”
I threw a hateful glance toward Shephard and stopped in the middle of the lobby. People were everywhere, loud Christmas music playing. Hell, there was even a jazz band with a singer belting out holiday tunes in the lobby bar. Fuck this shit. “We have the storm of the century rolling in. And I have my reasons.” The story was something my brothers hadn’t heard and I wasn’t going to talk about the experience.
The holidays would always remind me of the worst time in my life.
“Uh-huh. So what about the storm? Good for business. Fresh snow on the ground,” Shephard declared. “Most of the guests are here for an extended period of time. They can enjoy the snowy world of adventure, which should provide additional business in the future.”
My brother had gone from a brutal assassin working for an undisclosed organization meant on ridding the world of savages to a small-town family man. I was happy he was enjoying his life with the woman who’d captured his heart, but I wasn’t at that point.
Nor would I ever be.
I missed the action, working alone, eliminating a threat while enjoying the sights and sounds of other countries. I was a danger junkie, fueled by the rocketed levels of adrenaline and the stench of fresh blood. Now I was subject to boring days sitting in front of a computer ensuring contracts were in place, money coming in.
All because our father had insisted his three sons take the helm of the now profitable business in the middle of fucking nowhere. Or we would have lost our share of the profit had he sold. Months after accepting his toxic demand, I was miserable.
Hunter snickered. “He needs to get laid.” He flanked my other side. What was this, some bullshit intervention?
“Shut the fuck up,” I told him. So he’d decided to be the playboy of the Shenandoah Valley. That wasn’t me. Not by a long shot.
“You’re a grumpy son of a bitch,” Shephard said with disdain in his tone. “You need to get out more, enjoy the Shenandoah Mountains. Take up a damn hobby. Chase women. Do something to alter your nasty moods.”
“Yeah, well, go home to your lovely woman and handsome dog. Just leave me alone.”
Shephard stopped short and I kept walking. “In other words, brother. Get a life.”
“By the way. I like the new aftershave,” Hunter called after me. “Heavy on the chocolate and marshmallows.”
I threw my hand out, shoving him aside as I headed into the lobby. My two brothers continuously got on my freaking nerves. Shephard was worse, with his new, sunny disposition because of having a woman in his life. Good for him. I wanted no part of it.
“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do. I can suggest another hotel, but they could be booked.”
The loud voice was coming from one of the front desk employees. Mark was usually extremely polite, going the distance to provide whatever a guest needed. I glanced in his direction, noticing a woman and a little girl, who was hanging on her mother’s jacket, whimpering and whining like small kids did.
“You don’t understand,” the woman said in return. I had a feeling she was repeating herself. “I need this room. Just for one night.”
“Not only are we booked up, but you have no identification. Our rules will not allow us to rent a single room without the guest producing identification or a valid credit card.”
Sighing, I had the distinct feeling I’d need to intervene. I walked closer, noticing the woman appeared haggard, dirt covering her light jacket. Had she not prepared for the elements? Even the kid wasn’t dressed warmly enough.
“Is there something wrong, Mark?” I asked as I leaned against the counter, studying the woman in question from several inches away.
She certainly didn’t want to look me in the eye. Given my former profession, I knew that generally meant she was guilty of something.
However, she was also beautiful. Even the dark circles under her eyes couldn’t diminish her stunning good looks. But there was a level of sadness exuding from her that heightened my curiosity.
“Yes, this woman doesn’t understand I can’t rent her a room. She has no identity and two credit cards were denied.” Mark was almost as harried as the mysterious woman was. “That is not allowed in this resort. It’s against our very strict rules.”
The guy was actually schooling me in the regulations of the resort? Was he kidding me? Now I was past being irritated, moving into full-blown rage.
“You know what, Mark? I’m certain we can make an exception,” I told him. I wasn’t typically the kind of man who gave a shit about someone, but I could tell by the woman’s pinched face she was in dire straits.
“As I told the woman, we’re booked. Solid. Not one room to be found,” Mark insisted. The young man was glaring at me as if I was the problem.
I resisted snapping at him, trying to learn from Shephard by taking the high road. “Our potential guest has a name. Now talk to me. What about our cabins? Are they all filled?” He was a complete asshole as far as I was concerned.
The woman turned to me, her brow furrowed. “I can’t afford a cabin. I just…”
“Mommy. I’m hungry.” The little girl continued tugging on her mother’s jacket, even stamping her feet for emphasis. I could tell whoever the mother was, she was doing her best to remain calm.
“Honey. I’ll get you some graham crackers in a little bit,” she said.
Graham crackers?
Mark snapped a hateful look at me. “Let me check.” His fingers flew across his computer’s keyboard and I made a mental note to rake the shithead over the coals later. “Yes, the Wyoming cabin is available. But it’s very expensive.”
Her face fell.
He was telling me this as if I didn’t know? The resort’s accountant? I was close to being livid, which wasn’t good for anyone. “We’re comping her the cabin for as long as she needs.”
“But sir—”
“Don’t ‘but sir’ me,” I interrupted. “You heard me. You work for me. Remember? Not the other way around. Make it happen. Identification or not. It’s on me.”
“Yes, sir,” Mark said, but he wasn’t a happy camper.
As if I cared.
The woman appeared shocked, but her expression changed quickly into more than a slight hint of anger. “I don’t take charity. Thank you very much, but I’m not that kind of woman.”
I could tell she was the kind of person who didn’t appreciate anyone providing assistance. “A storm is coming.”
“I’ll go to another hotel,” she said.
“The two other inns are completely booked given the damn season and the upcoming snow event. It’s late and your daughter is hungry. Accept my generosity. I don’t usually offer any.” I started to turn away until she touched my arm.
As soon as she did, a huge jolt of current rushed through every cell in my body. Shock followed, the kind that caught my breath in my throat.
“You didn’t need to do that,” she said more softly this time.
“It would appear you needed a little help. I have the ability to make that happen.”
“Mommy. I’m so hungry. Pwease.”
The little girl was now begging, which struck at the heartstrings I hadn’t known I had any longer. I rubbed my eyes, already hating what I was about to do.
“Why don’t we grab some dinner? The chef makes a tasty cheeseburger.” I was shocked by how generous I was being. I was the Fox brother who argued against a single freebie.
“Mommy. A cheeseburger.”
“No, Cally. We can’t do that.” Cally’s mother was at the point of losing some sense of control. I could tell from her face and by her body language.
“Nonsense,” I told her. “I was going to grab a bite and I hate eating alone.” It was just a lie since I preferred being entirely alone.
The woman’s face as she peered at me yanked at something else, desire that I’d long since thought dead. She was also distrusting, questioning whether I was a good guy or bad guy.
I knew the answer and I doubted she would feel more comfortable knowing.
“I don’t bite,” I told her, although that was no more the truth than anything else I’d said.
“What’s your name at least so I can place you into our system?” Mark asked, his tone prompting another expression of displeasure from me. Since when did our employees judge a single guest?
Not allowed.
She bit her lower lip and I could tell she was still deciding whether to accept the offer.
I wasn’t the kind of man to beg for anything.
“Bella Winters,” she said in a tone suggesting defeat. She had a story to tell, but one I didn’t care to hear.
I’d done my good deed for the year, dinner just icing on the cake. As she signed a piece of paper for the hotel, I took more time paying attention to how she was dressed, her daughter as well. I was a damn good judge of character, my former life requiring me to be observant with the smallest details about a person.
Bella’s lower lip was quivering, but she was doing her best to remain strong. She’d obviously been through some kind of ordeal, doing an excellent job of hiding it from her daughter. She was also the most beautiful woman I’d ever set eyes on.
I’d had my share of affairs over the years, none of which I could call a relationship. However, I was more attracted to Bella than I had been with anyone in as long as I could remember. With her long blonde hair, striking violet eyes, soft rosy lips, and an hourglass figure unable to be hidden by her jacket, she was the epitome of stunning.
Even my cock registered just how insanely gorgeous she was, my shaft pushing hard against my trousers.
“Here are the keys to the Wyoming cabin and a map to show you how to get there. Enjoy your stay.” I didn’t like the look on Mark’s face. He was definitely pushing the envelope in my world and he wouldn’t like me getting angry.
I’d been called a son of a bitch more than once, the title held with pride.
With the keys in her hand, Bella was still debating. “I will pay you back.”
“Don’t worry about it. Now, how about those cheeseburgers?”
Cally smiled at me and her small gesture could light up the dreary night. “Thank you, mister.” The kid couldn’t have been more than three, maybe four, yet she’d already been taught manners.
“You can call me Jagger.”
The little girl’s eyes opened wide and she clapped. Maybe the kid thought I was some kind of superhero in a world that held few.
“Jagger,” Bella repeated. “A good name.”
A dangerous one. If only she knew the moniker provided by the last people I’d worked for.
If she learned, she’d leave the resort and never return.
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