Chapter One
Whoosh!
Boom!
The thunderous crash was experienced, not heard, the intense vibrations continuous. The earth rumbled from the swift moving fire, wind dragging the flames from the top of one tree to another. Every sound, including the cries of birds as they raced for safety was masked by the crackle of flames ripping through the dense, dry timber.
“Jesus Christ,” Dante yelled, his voice garbled yet audible through the remote speaker. He’d been close to being pummeled into the ground by the massive oak denting the earth.
I took a step away, lifting my face shield to stare at the progress. Goddamn it, the fire was hot, already consuming at least a thousand acres. While the team was making headway, soon exhaustion would settle in. That would add to the already heightened level of danger.
Where the fuck was the water? The firefighters were supposed to have been here an hour ago.
While we’d parachuted in given the location and the aggressive nature of the fire, there was a remote road leading to the area as well. Even with the mountainous area, the firefighters should have been here thirty minutes before. They had plenty of fucking water with the river and one of several lakes close by.
“Where are they?” I barked after smashing my fingers against the push to talk button.
Acrid ash lingered on my tongue, the taste bitter. Sooty columns of charcoal gray blotted out the sun, my eyes and nose burning from the stench.
“Mask on!” the team commander snapped as he swung his head toward me, his voice filled with fury. “Do your job, Axe. Do your job and we might get out of here alive.” William, or as he was known to everyone in the squad, the Wingman wasn’t interested in any of my shit. It didn’t matter that we were brothers. Not here. Not during a fire. He was merely the experienced smokejumper and I was low on the totem pole. “No fucking hot-dogging. Any of you.”
I’d gotten the nickname of Axe week one given my ability with and aggressive use of an axe in the line of duty. It was either that or be afflicted with the moniker I’d had since the first time I’d been arrested as a teenager.
Bronco Bully. Yeah, that didn’t suit me anymore. I was no longer that guy.
I glared at him, more as my older brother than as my superior. Yeah, I understood why rules were meant to be followed. In the wilderness, any misstep could cost someone’s life.
“Yes, sir. You know the wind is about to change directions. Right?” I glanced toward the sky painted orange by the excessive flames for emphasis.
“Don’t push, Axe. Keep your position,” he barked before heading off in another direction.
Damn the man and his rules. I lifted my mask again, turning in a full circle. If we weren’t careful, we’d lose control of the flames in seconds. The weather pattern was unpredictable as fuck and should be watched. But that wasn’t my call to make.
I returned to my post, continuing to clear the path, yanking limbs free of the line of fire.
While three jumpers were working on a burnout, setting fires to deny the main fire of any fuel, I was on the team cutting through branches and digging ditches to divert the flames.
I moved toward the other men, taking swing after swing against the hard terrain. The underbrush was brutal, dry as a bone, the perfect conditions for a raging flashfire.
We worked in tandem, ignoring body aches and the excessive heat. Beads of sweat crawled down my face, more soaking every inch of clothing.
This was what I’d asked for, joining the hotshot team. Why was I complaining? A grin crossed my face. I wasn’t. I was a danger junkie and this was exactly what fed my desires.
Minutes ticked by and it seemed as if we weren’t making any damn progress.
Boom!
Another fallen tree.
Another scream.
I threw a look at Denver who shook his head. Before giving it another thought, I rushed toward the sound.
“Axe, get back here!” Dante yelled, the entire team overhearing his frustration. A man was down. I refused to allow one of our own to perish.
Not like this.
Embers rained down as if from the heavens, blanketing the terrain with specks of hot lava. I trounced out as many as possible as I lumbered forward, feeling hindered by the weight of the uniform.
“Axe! Where the fuck are you?” I ignored Will’s question as I heard moaning only a few feet away.
Thick smoke furled in the air, making it close to impossible to breathe. But nothing was going to stop me.
I noticed movement seconds later and rushed forward. Rock was down, a huge limb pinning his legs. Fuck.
“Man down. Man down,” I called, but there was no time to wait for anyone’s assistance.
“Damn it,” Rock hissed, obviously in pain.
“I got you, Marcus.”
“I can’t fucking move,” he muttered. In the two plus years I’d been a hotshot, I’d never seen the man flustered. That’s why he’d been given the moniker of the Rock. Because he was immovable, impenetrable. A local hero.
And we would not lose him on this mission.
Hunkering down, I yanked at the huge limb, my gloves slipping on the slimy moss bark. Fuck. I yanked them off before trying again, this time on my feet and using my thigh muscles.
“Aaaaahhhhh.”
Crackling sounds were all around us, additional limbs ready to fall. Any one of them could crush us.
“Pull. Pull. Pull!” Rock grunted.
Voices from other jumpers peppered the airwaves. All ignored.
With my chest heaving, my arms ready to give out, I finally got the fucking limb to budge just enough so Rock was able to crawl out from under it. I grabbed his arm, dragging him away just as movement caught my eye.
Boom!
The ground beneath us rumbled.
The fallen tree was too damn close, the force creating a thick haze of dust.
“Let’s get out of here.” With my arm wrapped around him, we hobbled to safety, moving behind the line of fire.
I could feel the heated glare of the others but didn’t give a shit. I’d saved a man’s life. Wasn’t that worth something?
“I’m fine,” Rock told me. “Let’s get this done. Back to work.”
We returned to the group, continuing our efforts. Time seemed to tick away slowly.
Suddenly, the fucking cavalry arrived, firefighters making it through the heavy brush.
“About goddamn time!” Denver barked from beside me.
Snorting, I glanced at the firefighting team, realizing it was engine twelve, my old stomping grounds. My captain had been none too happy when I’d left to become a smokejumper.
William appeared, stalking toward them.
But not before throwing me a nasty look.
“What do we have?” one of the firemen asked as he glanced toward the waning crown of fire.
“Eighty percent contained,” my brother barked out. “We need water on the ridge over there. Let’s put this thing to bed.”
“The wind is going to change,” I said, but mostly to myself. At this point, I doubted there was anything I could say that my brother would listen to. I’d ignored orders.
“Got it.” As the firemen rushed off, I rolled my eyes.
So much for fucking teamwork.
Another thirty minutes passed, but we could all feel the headway being made.
Only when it appeared we’d controlled any ongoing brush fires did the Wingman give the okay to step away.
I yanked off the helmet before walking away from the charred remains. After taking a deep breath of stagnant air, I grabbed a bottle of water from my pack, not bothering to rip off my gloves before gulping half the contents. When I was finished, I poured the rest over my head and thumped to the ground on my ass. The entire ridge was a sauna, steam already rising from the volume of water used.
Dante grinned as he tugged a bottle of water into his hands. “What’s wrong, rookie? A little hot for you?”
Now I had the incentive to rip off my gloves, giving him the middle finger once I did. “Rookie, my ass. Ha. Ha. Just a little sick of bureaucracy.” I could see two of the firefighters from where I was sitting.
“Oh, listen to him. Already an elitist.” Rock hobbled toward us, wincing when he dropped to the ground. He’d been with the team for years. Long before I’d joined the smokejumpers after my days of being a rodeo star had ceased to exist. For me they’d been lean days of making ends meet, working out, and taking tests.
“Nah, I just know how the game works.” Money was tight for everyone, more recruits needed.
“What do you think?” Dante asked. “Arson?”
Rock shrugged, wiping his face before answering. “Has all the earmarks. Second one this summer.”
“That’s why the firefighters need to keep their ass in gear.” Yeah, I was surly, even crankier than normal today.
I yanked at the jacket before wiping my face. The city council was always arguing with the Forestry Service on wildfire planning, even pushing a former smokejumper who’d had a seat out of office. The push and pull had already cost lives. The harsh sentiment wasn’t solely my opinion.
He glanced at me, shaking his head. “You can’t do that shit, kid. We count on each other. Every department is stretched thin. But you gotta maintain the rules.”
“What would you have preferred? That I let you die?”
He wasn’t allowed the opportunity to answer before Will appeared, yanking me off the ground. Dante and Denver scrambled to their feet, helping Marcus to his, all three men backing away. They knew exactly how my brother was. As the second in charge of the groups of teams, he had the say about who joined the hotshots. I’d had to fight my way to gain the position. No nepotism allowed.
Hell, I’d already bypassed the norm of working as a wildland firefighter, instead training with the local fire department. Doing so had allowed me to continue participating on the rodeo circuit until I couldn’t do so any longer. That hadn’t won me any points with the crew.
However, I’d done the work, pushing myself with every test, every physical qualification. I was in the best fucking shape of my life and knew what the hell I was doing. What continued to piss me off was that some on the team had fought my inclusion, others snubbing me for months. Even now, after almost being on the team for three years, the old guard still called me a damn rookie. A standing joke for many.
“What the fuck were you doing? What the actual fuck?” I’d never seen Will this hot. Not since he’d caught me with a stogie in my hand in our family’s barn when I was maybe fourteen. I’d nearly gotten the shit kicked out of me before my parents had found out.
I jerked away from him, trying my best to harness my own anger. “Rock needed help. He was pinned.”
“Then you ensure I know what the fuck is going on. You can’t go off on your own. What the hell would I have done if you’d been caught by a wall of flames? Huh? What?” He shoved my shoulder, backing away and pacing the ground. When he spoke again, his voice softened. “You can’t do that shit. Think of the family. This shit is hard enough on Mom and Dad.”
Yeah, they weren’t thrilled that their three sons had all selected a dangerous profession.
Our other brother Jameson, ‘Steel’ as everyone called him, was also a hotshot. While on another team, he was heading toward being a commander, as rigid with the rules as Will. I was the damn reckless one, which was why I was on my brother’s team. Will was going to whip me into shape. I’d overheard our captain telling my brother that he needed to keep an eye out on me. That I could get someone on the team killed.
“Goddamn it, Will. Marcus is alive,” I yelled, hissing as soon as I did.
He got in my face, his red. I was huffing and puffing. This was all about brotherly testosterone. Neither of us wanted to back down, but with others watching, I reminded myself I was the subordinate and finally took a step away.
“Yeah, well, almost at the expense of others. Did you know Dante was surrounded by a wall of fire while you were off playing hero? Did you?”
I glanced in Dante’s direction, taking several deep breaths. Why hadn’t he said anything? “No.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because of your hotdog tendencies. Don’t do it again or you are off this team. Got it?” Now he was poking his finger against my chest.
The pain was biting. I backed away, giving him a military salute, anger continuing to swell.
Storming away, he cursed under his breath.
After turning away from the others, I closed my eyes, theirs remaining on me. I’d always wanted to be the hero. It was in my nature. Yeah, maybe joining the team hadn’t been the best idea. I grabbed my things, putting everything back into my pack, preparing for the hike back to the base.
A commotion caught my attention once again. When I turned around, I could see two of the firefighters talking with Will. I inched closer, curious as to what they were talking about.
“Yeah, we’re pretty sure it’s out, but it couldn’t hurt to take a look over the ridge line.” The firefighter was pointing to an area that couldn’t be accessed by foot.
That meant a helicopter would need to access the area. I started shaking my head before Will said a word. If the wind changed like I suspected it was going to do, gusts could slam him into the trees or the mountains.
Will took a step away, turning around and staring at the location where the firefighter was pointing. “Yeah, why don’t I take the bird up? The last thing we need is for the damn thing to start again.”
The firefighters were supposed to stay on the ground so they could eliminate any hot spots. What the hell were they doing?
After a few additional words, Will took long strides down the path toward where the helicopter was positioned. He’d been the spotter for the day given the specifics of the fire.
“Will, don’t do this. I’m telling you that the wind is about to change.” I followed along behind him as he headed down the slope toward the awaiting bird.
“You’re basing this on what, a hunch? Or did you suddenly become a weather forecaster, Stephen? Seriously.” He huffed and refused to stop moving.
The man was infuriating as hell. Finally, I grabbed his arm, shocked when he bristled. “Jesus Christ, Will. What the hell are you doing?”
“My job.”
While I adored my brother, we’d always been at odds, his habit of acting fatherly when we had a dad driving me nuts. “Just look at the damn weather forecast before you go up? Okay?”
He rubbed his forehead and I could hear him cursing under his breath all over again. “Fine. Go finish with the cleanup. I’m taking a quick look and nothing more. Okay?” He headed away from me and I refused to back down.
We continued walking in silence for almost ten minutes until the helicopter came into view. He’d been labeled the Wingman years before, getting his pilot’s license at sixteen. I’d always wondered why he hadn’t entered the Air Force given his love of flying. The smokejumpers were lucky to have him.
“I don’t think you should do this.”
With a groan, he moved to the bird, jumping inside. “So you’ve told me and duly noted. I’ll be back in five minutes. Ten tops. I know what I’m doing. Get the fuck back up there and get the area locked down.” When I didn’t answer right away, the fury controlling my actions, he pointed back to where I’d come from. “I am your damn superior. I’ll need to report you for insubordination.”
“Fine. You do that.”
I shook my head as I glared at the sky. There was a storm brewing in the distance, the barometric pressure already changing. “Just stay away from the tree line.”
He grabbed his helmet. “That’s where I need to go. Stop pestering me.” His anger had returned. “We will talk about your insubordination again. Now go do your job.”
As he flipped several switches, the propellers engaging, I backed away, but the pit in my stomach remained.
Less than three minutes later, he took off without incident, his control of the heavy bird masterful. Learning to fly had never been on my radar. I preferred staying on terra firma. I watched until the white and blue bird disappeared before taking a deep breath.
As I scanned the sky, light breeze tickled my skin. Maybe I was wrong about the shift in the wind. Maybe.
After waiting for a few seconds, I began the trek back up the mountain, making good time.
A burst of wind caught my attention, my nerves driven to the edge. I glared at the sky, noticing the canopy of trees in the opposite direction of the fire was swaying.
The wind had shifted just like I’d warned.
No. No.
A single rumble of thunder and I took off running while pressing the button on the communications system. “Will. Get back here. The wind is changing. There’s a storm.”
“I’m… at… but… and…”
“Will, you’re breaking up.”
What in the hell? I continued jogging up the trail. “Will. Turn the fuck around.”
“What is going on?” Dante jogged toward me, throwing his arms out.
“The fucking fire department wanted confirmation the flames were out. Will went up in the chopper.” From where we stood, the swirl of smoke spiraling toward the sky was blacker than before. “The fire’s not done yet. He’s going to clog the filters.”
Another rumble of thunder. A single lightning bolt.
And a blast of wind.
“Ah, hell,” Dante hissed.
“Will. Come back. Come on, buddy,” I said as I moved to a clearing, trying and hopeful to catch sight of him. I shielded my eyes, ignoring all sounds while the wind picked up in intensity.
“Headed… back.”
Still on edge, I rushed closer to a drop-off, holding my breath until I caught sight of the propellers.
At least the goddamn storm was lingering in the distance. A line of garbled hisses hit the communication system. “Will. What are you trying to say?”
“Just… and then…” Buzz. Ditzch!
A shrill sound caught everyone’s attention.
I moved toward the path, never blinking as I watched the flight pattern. He was coming in strong, no sign of distress. “Come on, Will. Come on. Head home.”
“He’ll be alright.” Suddenly, Denver was beside me, staring up at the sky.
An entirely different sound could be heard in the distance.
“What the fuck was that?” I asked of no one. When Will’s helicopter veered slightly, heading toward the trees, every muscle in my body tensed. “Will. What is happening? Talk to me.”
Seconds ticked by. Another sound. Another crackle of the communications system.
“Ah, fuck,” Denver hissed. “He’s losing control.”
The helicopter veered toward the trees, narrowly avoiding slamming into them, but the propeller must have caught a line of foliage.
My brother tried to regain control, almost managing to do so. He dropped in altitude as he prepared to land.
“Here he comes,” Dante said, even trying to laugh, but the sound was hollow. “That man can fly.”
“Yeah, he can.”
I turned my attention away, jogging down the pathway to meet him when he arrived. The whirring sound was jarring. Turning abruptly, I watched in horror as he tumbled to the side, the bank too hard. He narrowly missed hitting the side of the mountain.
Will righted the helicopter. He was headed straight for me.
He dropped several feet, slowing. Still slowing.
Another shear and the bird almost slammed into the area where I was standing.
“Fuck.” I hit the ground, taking gasping breaths before pushing up. Will had managed to turn, slowing his speed once again.
Just as I jerked to my feet, the helicopter dropped and I caught sight of Will’s face.
Then the bird lurched forward.
“Come on, Will. Come on. You can do it.”
I watched in horror as the aircraft smashed against the side only yards from where I was standing, the hull still intact until it jumped to the surface, smashing down sideways and skidding toward me.
Unable to move, I was shocked when hands grabbed me, yanking me out of the way mere seconds before a horrific explosion.
We were pitched backward, the wind knocked out of me. In shock, my mind couldn’t register what I was seeing.
At least at first.
Then I realized the helicopter was on fire and Will was desperately trying to climb out of the wreckage.
There was no room for error or time to waste. I rushed forward, determined to save my brother.
“No, Axe. It’s too hot!” one of the smokejumpers yelled.
Ignoring everything else around me, I ran toward the flames, fighting my way until I reached the door. It was hot to the touch; I didn’t pay a damn bit of attention, wrangling with and finally managing to open the door.
“Will. Fuck. Fuck.” I fought with his seatbelt while the fire raged on, barely cognizant there were others, all shouting behind me.
All I could concentrate on was getting Will free.
As soon as I did, I dragged him away by several feet.
“It’s going to blow!” Rock screamed.
After a few additional feet, the blast pummeled us forward by several feet. As soon as we hit with a hard thud, I covered Will’s body with mine.
Whoosh.
Boom.
The ground beneath us shook violently.
People were everywhere, working to put out the fire. I finally lifted my head, brushing hair from my brother’s face.
He was badly burned, barely breathing. No. No. No! “Will. You’re going to be okay. You’ll be fine. I need help! Get an ambulance!” I cradled him in my arms, ensuring not a single falling ember touched him.
“Steve…” Will opened his eyes, managing to grasp my arm. “I’m… so… sorry.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.” Oh, God. Oh. God. “Someone. Please. Get an ambulance. Just hold on. Okay? We’ll get you to a hospital.”
Seconds ticked by.
Voices.
Shouts.
Footsteps.
But everything was driven into a vacuum, the moment of time pitching to a dead stop the moment my brother smiled.
“You’re a great… smokejumper, Stephen. Axe. Man. A great… brother.”
“Hang on, Will. I’ve got you. Just hang on. You’re going to be fine.” I pulled him close as other jumpers circled.
Just as Will closed his eyes, the smile still on his face.
[divider]Chapter Two
Kenzie
Three weeks later…
“I’m on my way, Dad.” Just like you commanded. I dared not say the words lest I get into a vicious argument with my father. After the longer than anticipated drive from Billings, the last thing I wanted was his usual words of condemnation.
I hadn’t left early enough.
I hadn’t called him when I’d left.
I hadn’t sounded thrilled at the notion coming home for God knew how long but would end up being too long.
That’s because he was right. I wasn’t thrilled but, in a way, I felt I had no other choice but to return home. The timeframe was yet to be determined. Doing so was the only decent choice. Absolutely, I could have stuck it out in Billings where I’d built my life, holding my head high while searching for another job after being fired from my old one. Staying in cheap hotel rooms. Eating ramen noodle soup. But for how long? Until my money ran out?
However, no matter how progressive Billings was in comparison to Missoula, it was still an old boys’ town regarding communication. My firing was as close to internet news as there could be. Add in that my boyfriend had dumped me in the same twenty-four-hour period and I’d been tainted. Unhireable.
Unlovable.
Ugh.
My guess was that the hometown gossipers had already received the news. Forget the internet. The old Missoula cronies picked up the phone and held conference calls with each other to spill the tea. I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t use Zoom so they could share horrible photographs. While only five hours away from where I’d grown up, the distance had kept my father from just dropping in on me.
That and his struggle to maintain his wealth.
And the nasty fight that had been our last communication.
Here I was, coming home with my tail between my legs. Oh, hell, no. What I’d accomplished in a few years was substantial.
Yes, it was. I’d racked up a ninety-seven percent win of my cases in court. So why was I chastising myself again? The ache of the job loss was real, especially since my termination had been politically motivated, but the disappearance of a boyfriend in my life wasn’t that big a deal. We’d grown apart, becoming more like roommates than anything. Early on, I’d overlooked his catting around, which had been a big mistake.
After confronting him, we’d tried to make it work, slowly falling back into the same routines.
That had been fine given our busy work schedules and that we mostly liked each other.
Then he’d met Emily and everything had changed.
She didn’t like having an almost ex-girlfriend living in the same condo where she was canoodling with the man I’d once believed could be the one. So I’d been ceremoniously asked to leave. Timeframe? Twelve hours.
The call from my father had seemed like fate intervening. But coming home to Missoula felt more like I’d suffered failures. My dad had certainly already tossed out a few barbs while pretending to be supportive. In confessing, I’d fed into his insistence I come home and save his bacon.
Well, he hadn’t used the last words, but I’d sensed his desperation.
Coming home was a bit like being forced to face the Hatfields and McCoys. There were two powerhouse families in town and since I’d been a child, they’d been at odds. The Becketts and the Sterlings. I was from the Sterling end, my father ceremoniously trying to run the town, including the city council. The Becketts came from old money, certainly more beloved and refusing to sell my father land he’d coveted for years.
No one had ever mentioned why the feud had started. There’d been some alluding to land issues, but I’d always had a feeling the anger suffered between them was personal.
My brother and the youngest and wildest of the Beckett sons had become friends even though both had been forbidden by their fathers from seeing the other. That hadn’t stopped them from forming a bond. Or indulging in criminal acts for that matter. Our household had often been embroiled in scenes that would remind someone of the O.K. Corral.
The reason the feud had interfered with my life was much more personal, which caused a portion of the angst that nearly suffocated me.
I’d fallen madly and hopelessly in love with the resident bad boy and youngest Beckett brother. On the day I’d turned eighteen, I’d made my feelings known. Stephen Beckett had been the epitome of the bad boy, long dark hair and dreamy blue eyes that could easily capture a girl’s heart. Rough around the edges, he’d driven a hot sports car, had a killer smile and a way with the ladies.
To make matters worse, he’d become a rodeo champion at age fifteen. A star on the circuit, his popularity had been in the stratosphere when I’d left for college. Even now, I was tingling all over just thinking about him. Yet the taste left in my mouth was bittersweet given our last interaction. I really had no good reason to return home.
What I couldn’t understand was why he’d forfeited his career, turning to firefighting.
Why, oh, why was I being forced to endure even a moment of the past? The answer was simple. Because I was headed home against my better judgment.
And because I had a bad feeling at some point I’d run into Stephen Beckett. If I did, I’d give him a piece of my mind. Again.
Now, my teeth strummed my bottom lip for the umpteenth time as images of Stephen’s face popped into my mind. Nope. I wasn’t going down memory lane any longer. The man was like all the rest, a womanizer. I’d just been dumped by one. Why bother indulging in fantasies regarding another?
Tires that needed replacement rode over the rough road with one jump after another until the sharp edge of one incisor skewered my tender flesh. Drops of blood filled my mouth, the tangy taste adding to my sour mood. Perfect. Just perfect.
“There’s a storm coming,” my dad said gruffly, dragging me out of a sinful, unwanted, and unneeded fantasy back to real life. My dad wasn’t a man of many words and we weren’t close, even less so since I’d moved away, promising never to return. What was the old adage? Never say never? At least I’d have a chance to see my best friend while in town.
If I survived whatever my father needed.
I glanced out the windshield at the bright late morning sky, wincing when I did. The five-hour drive had turned into a full day and night, the unwanted adventure fraught with a flat tire, an extended stay in a tiny town that reminded me of some horror movie, and the worst margaritas this side of the Mississippi. At least there hadn’t been bedbugs.
And I’d been thankful my father hadn’t had his concept of the cavalry come bring me home.
Maybe using a lasso.
Exhausted and cranky, I was as close to snapping at my father as I’d been for years. “Don’t worry, Dad. I’ve got big Bertha and the sun is currently out. I’m making good time. I should be at the ranch in a couple hours.”
If I didn’t stop at a bar first, which was still a decent option.
“You need to replace that goddamn truck like I’ve told you a hundred times. It doesn’t suit you or your position in town. Now, your mother is waiting for you. We have a lot to discuss, McKenzie.” When he used my given name, I knew I was in for one of his infamous lectures. My father certainly knew how to turn up the heat, reminding me of the family I’d come from.
Wealthy, influential, and in my mind, corrupt. Yeah, that wasn’t polite of me, but I was no dummy. I’d learned a long time ago that my father used whatever methods were necessary to get what he wanted in business and life.
While he’d started barking at me, on his initial call he’d almost used sweet talk in asking me to come home. That meant he was in some kind of legal trouble. Knowing my father, he could be involved in anything.
Including criminal activity.
That put me in a precarious position since I was a licensed attorney.
Any advice I offered my father would need to be tempered because I was a black and white kind of woman. The very reason I’d lost my job. I hadn’t been lured into sidestepping the law. Who knew attorney firms usually stretched the truth?
He ended the call abruptly as he always did. There was never time for chitchat. He rarely asked me about my life or my interests. His call had been out of the blue and like a fool, when he’d asked if I could take a few days off, I’d blurted out my woes.
I’d never hear the end of it. My brother would enjoy poking fun as well.
I didn’t have long to wait before my phone chimed again. With a scowl on my face, I glanced at the screen. Finally, something to smile about after the shitty few days I’d had. “Charmaine.”
“Oh, please, girlfriend. You know how I hate that name. Char ‘tis the name.”
We laughed like it was old times. I’d been working so much I hadn’t taken the time to see one of my best friends in far too long. “I’m glad to hear your voice.”
“Are you close?”
“Close enough to wish I hadn’t decided to come home.”
“Well, if push comes to shove, you can always stay with me.”
I thought about my father’s terse words. “Don’t make that offer. I might end up on your doorstep.”
“I have a guest bed. We can commiserate over horrible men.”
“Not you too,” I hissed.
“Well, at least you didn’t have a ring on your finger before you realized your man couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.”
“Oh, Jesus. Okay. Let me get settled and we’ll go out for drinks. Fair enough?”
“Call me.”
Hearing the crackle was clear indication the reception was about to be cut off by the mountains. At least that meant I was closer. “I’ll give you a call later.” When she didn’t answer, I glanced at the screen. Call failed. Perfect.
Groaning, I leaned over the steering wheel, glancing at the fuel gauge. Which was acting up. Why not have something else go wrong? Maybe my father was right in that I should have purchased a new vehicle years ago like my ex had advised me to do, but old Bertha had been with me since before college. I had a feeling one reason I hadn’t purchased something new was because my father thought the battered truck was beneath the family name, not just me.
The two of us powered on, heading down the two-lane road. Using the short cut I remembered, I should be able to cut out some time.
With the radio going, I sat back, grabbing my sunglasses. The day was surprisingly warm for mid-June, the gauge reading eighty-four. Normally, the late spring season held on until we were closing in on July. Because of the lovely weather, I had my windows down, enjoying the fresh air. While I’d adored everything about living in the city from the incredible food to the music scene, the eclectic neighborhoods and festive celebrations, there was something special about the mountains in Missoula.
When I rounded a bend, I was given a spectacular view of the Bitterroot Mountain range. It had been years since I’d bothered to come home for even a visit, the last time only for a couple of days around Christmas. Maybe the fresh air would clear my head, the time spent allowing me to consider my options.
Not that I had any. While I was here, I’d spruce up my resume and update my information on Indeed. Since I was staying with my parents, I’d be able to save money. A win if I didn’t know my father was up to something.
I settled in, singing along with every song that came on the radio. While I might be a little off key, there was no one here to chastise me for being imperfect. Even when the reception grew hinky, I belted out a Billie Eilish song, one of my favorites. I hadn’t felt the need to invest in satellite radio either. Why bother? I usually took a trolley to work, preferring the sounds of the city to any musical group.
Now I might add the luxury item to my bucket list. When a shadow fell across the glass, I yanked off my shades and glanced out the driver’s window. Wow. When had the dark clouds rolled in? When I’d been lost in the pretense that I was enjoying returning home to Montana.
A rumble in the distance meant my father was right. A storm was rolling in. June was notoriously the wettest month in Missoula, but usually only rain. Nothing to worry about.
I continued driving, making good time. When the first drops of rain hit the windshield, I resisted rolling up the window. At least with the trees flanking both sides of the road, the scent of rainwater hitting the dark green leaves was fresh. Even the fragrance of wildflowers floated into the cab.
Popping on the headlights, I slowed down as I rounded another curve.
Jesus Christ. You would think the clouds broke free, the sudden deluge shielding my view.
The windshield wipers couldn’t keep up, swishing back and forth with a slight squeak from needing to be replaced. I hurried to raise the window, shocked at how fast the rain was coming down.
Yes, I’d seen horrific rains before, but not usually in Missoula. With my eyes darting back and forth from the road to the radio station, I tried to find one with weather. There was nothing but static. I almost dropped the phone when I grabbed it, hoping to see a few bars of reception. At least I could try to find a place to pull over.
Nothing. Not a single bar.
Great.
I slowed to a crawl, rocking back and forth as the water rushed across the road. I’d made it to the Bitterroot range, the location at the base of the mountains. On the other side was the Clark Fork River, which basically ran through the city.
In other words, there was little room for error and few places to pull off safely. I had to keep going. Leaning all the way forward, both hands were gripping the wheel and I was suddenly freezing, my entire body shaking.
This was bad. Very bad.
While humming, I managed to make it maybe two miles in ten minutes. At least here were no other vehicles on the road.
I rolled around another bend, noticing some standing water. Not too bad. A sign caught my attention. If I could make it another two miles, I’d reach my turnoff. There was no turning back. I rolled forward and the moment my tires hit the puddle, a terrible feeling washed into the pit of my stomach.
The water was too deep and in a split second, the truck started to shift sideways toward the drop-off to the river.
Holy shit. I caught sight of the body of water between the trees. The river was swollen more than I could ever remember seeing, the current rushing past at breakneck speed. There was already debris in the water. How in the world had the river overrun its banks so quickly?
I did what I could to control the truck, pulling my foot off the brake. My baby was out of control, the current dragging her toward the water.
No. No. No!
A shrill scream erupted as panic rushed in.
Before I had a chance to react, the truck was pitched forward, fishtailing as it was dragged toward a bank of trees.
With a sharp cry, I braced for impact, thankful when the passenger side took the brunt, even though I was jarred and terrified. “Jesus.”
Every creaking sound was a reminder I was in danger where I was. I took several deep breaths, trying to figure out what to do.
When the truck shifted again, I yelped, fighting tears. What I couldn’t do was to stay here. With my hands shaking, I unfastened the seatbelt and twisted in the seat. I wasn’t very far off the road and there was a higher vantage point maybe two yards away. If I could reach the area, I should be able to hike to the turnoff. There were a few houses in the area. At least that’s what my brain remembered.
I turned off the engine, grabbing my purse and shoving my phone inside. Everything that truly mattered to me was inside my bag. The clothes and laptop I could replace. When the strap was around my neck and waist, I tried the door. It was stuck.
Another wave of panic hit me, another slight scream when the truck moved again. I frantically rolled down the window, fighting nerves and uncertainty before hoisting myself out the opening.
I’d never felt so alone in my life.
The sound of the rushing water was terrifying, but there was nothing I could do if I wanted to live. After several deep breaths, I somehow managed to hang onto the edge while trying to get into the bed of the truck. Doing so would place me only feet away when I jumped for the road.
I swung my leg, calculating the distance. I almost had it. There was nothing else to do but to take a leap of faith.
So I did.
And missed.
As soon as I fell into the frigid water, I tumbled under and in those next few seconds, images of everything I’d once loved flashed in front of my eyes.
[divider]Chapter Three
Axe
Motherfucking storms.
Goddamn it. As soon as I rounded the bend, I realized I’d need to head back to the cabin. So much for getting additional supplies. The rain had come in fast, more so than the weather people had predicted. As usual, those who were supposed to be experts were wrong.
My thoughts drifted to my captain and the conversation we’d had earlier that morning before I’d rolled out of the parking lot at a high rate of speed, burning rubber in the process.
Throwing a tantrum wasn’t like me, at least it hadn’t been in the last few years.
Unfortunately, the terse discussion hadn’t been a typical conversation, but a demand made by a man I respected. Captain Daughtry was one of the good ones, a man who’d served as a smokejumper for Missoula for over twenty years. A legend in the community, now the leader of the pack.
“I’m sorry, son, but you are grounded.”
“What do you mean grounded? We’re short staffed, Cap’n.”
“Yeah, I know we are and I’m working on obtaining a few rookies, but you’re out of control and I can’t have that in the department refusing to follow rules.”
“That’s bullshit, Cap’n!” I leaned over his desk and he cocked his head, wearing an expression that I only witnessed when he was pissed. “Is this about Will?”
He appeared horrified that I’d asked if he was holding my brother’s death over my head. I fucking was.
“Jesus Christ, Stephen. That’s what I’m talking about, son, your fucking anger. It’s out of hand. Now, I get why. We all do. What happened affected all of us, every man and woman here. However, this is personal for you. Guilt is eating you alive. You need to take some time to heal.”
“That’s not what I need!” As soon as I exploded, he lifted an eyebrow. I looked away, scrubbing my jaw and doing what I could to control my anger. “Really, Captain. I’m okay. I’m just not sleeping well.”
“Understandable,” Captain Daughtry said, but with his commanding voice. “My decision is final. You’re taking a few days off.”
“I don’t need or want a few days off. I need to work.”
“Don’t argue about this,” Captain Daughtry said as he stood. “You’re going to do as I ask.”
“Fine. I’ll put in a request.”
He glared at me.
“What? You want me to leave now?” I was furious, more so than I’d been in a long time. This was crazy. I didn’t need fucking time off.
When I opened my mouth, he took a deep breath. “Yes, you’re going to leave today and if you don’t follow my orders, I’m going to require you to talk with a counselor and he or she will have to sign off on you coming back to the team. Which I’m certain won’t be for weeks.”
“What am I supposed to do?” I sounded like a sniveling child.
“I don’t know, son. Find a hobby. Volunteer at a rescue organization. Find yourself.”
A rescue organization, my ass. Yeah, I adored animals like the next guy, but how the hell would that help me?
Goddamn it.
The moment I’d opened my mouth to retort, he’d shut me down again. A fucking counselor. I didn’t need to see a goddamn shrink. I was just fine.
So I had nightmares and rarely slept. So what?
Maybe I’d had one too many drinks, which was one reason I was heading out to stock my liquor cabinet, but a little excess was to be anticipated after a tragedy.
Even weeks later.
Okay, fuck it. Maybe I was a mess, but hanging out at the cabin wasn’t going to fix that. At this point, I had no idea if anything could.
With my hand twisting on the thick leather of the steering wheel, I took a deep, rattled breath. The anger had yet to abate. I had no clue what would help. I slammed my hand on the steering wheel with enough force the truck veered off to the side. I hated the damn rain.
A flash of something up ahead caught my eye. What the hell was in the road?
Leaning forward, I adjusted the windshield wipers to high, struggling to make out what I was seeing. The river was out of its banks. Again. “Shit.” This had turned out to be a fucking crappy ass day.
I slowed to a halt maybe thirty feet from a huge body of water covering the two-lane road. It was deep enough to wash anyone away. If I had to guess, I’d say at least one of the dams had broken upstream. I could already see hints of the road breaking up. Fucking fantastic. It took the public works folks over a month to fix a damn pothole. I blamed that on the corruption within the city council. I could only imagine how long it would take to get the dams or the road fixed.
I knew I’d better call it in just in case the authorities hadn’t closed off the road on the other side. As I pulled out my phone, I laughed seeing the limited bars. What little reception there was had been cut off by the storm. Hopefully, the two-way radio I had in my truck would be enough.
Thankfully, the rain was starting to slacken off, but the damage was just beginning, the river way beyond its banks. I was just lucky the road where I was located was on a higher plateau, the path leading up the mountain.
With the receiver in my hand, I was ready to make the call when I noticed something out the window. What was that? The call forgotten, I craned my neck to try to figure out what I was seeing, finally opening the window and sticking my head out.
“What the hell?” Was that a damn vehicle halfway in the water? Ah, shit. I tossed the receiver and yanked on the seatbelt. This was the last damn thing I needed to deal with today. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Just as I threw open the door, I heard a sound.
A shrill but weak scream. An animal caught in the current?
I rushed forward, getting as close to the shore as possible. Yes, there was a vehicle plastered against one of the trees on the shoreline. Only from the way it was swaying, it wouldn’t be long before it became additional river debris.
Inching closer, I stretched to see if there was anyone inside.
No.
Fuck. The sound I’d heard was coming from a distance.
I placed both hands against my mouth to create a tunnel effect. “Is anyone there?” Hearing nothing, I turned in a different direction. “Can you hear me?”
A faint sound was there. I could barely hear it over the roar of the raging water, but there was no doubt someone was caught in the rubble.
I jumped over some debris, scanning up and down the waterline. There was definitely something there. Lodged in the roots of a tree protruding into the water something was floating. And hanging on for dear life. I was certain of it. While the river wasn’t anything I wanted to tangle with, I certainly wasn’t going to leave anyone there to die.
“Hold on.” I rushed back to the truck, grabbing my go bag from the back seat. I kept supplies in case an emergency should arise including rope and other implements. At this point, that was all that could help in the rescue. It was apparent the driver tried to cross over the river on the road. Why were people so damn hardheaded? Turn around, don’t drown, a motto everyone should learn.
Just a few inches of water could sweep you away and when the river was parallel to the road, anyone ignoring basic common sense could face certain death.
But not on my watch.
Snorting, I rushed closer to the rushing water. Even if the June day was warm, the water temperature was still in the low sixties, which meant hypothermia would be a danger in minutes. I scanned the water as I’d done before, concentrating on the roots I’d seen. Had it been a person or just a mound of debris, the sound coming from an animal?
Seconds later, I barely caught sight of an outstretched hand and the glint of long hair floating in the water. The person’s face was slightly obscured by the log, but I sensed it was a woman.
“Listen to me,” I yelled. “I’m coming to get you.”
That’s exactly what I intended, but the conditions wanted me to abandon my heroics for the day. Using very careful steps, I made my way toward her, gasping from the rush of frigid water when I finally waded in up to my thighs.
My boots slipped on the slime underneath and I almost pitched forward, but I kept going. “Can you hear me?”
“Yes!” she yelled, terror gripping her voice.
My teeth chattered as the cold seeped in, but I ignored the burning sensations, pressing forward. When I dropped all the way into the water, almost taken under by the rush, I realized there was no chance of getting to her safely.
There was only one other way and I’d likely have a single chance at making it work.
Backing away, I climbed over several logs.
She whimpered, the sound grabbing at whatever soul I had left.
“Please. Don’t leave me.” Her words were barely audible over the rapids crashing against the trees.
“I’m not leaving. But I can’t save you this way. You’re going to need to help me.”
She lifted her head, gasping for air. Exhaustion had already settled in. If she lost her grip, she’d head downstream toward a slight waterfall. On calm days, it was a kayaker’s dream. Not today. With the speed of the water, she’d be crushed by the weight and tossed against the rocks below.
After finding a safe spot, I planted my feet in the muck to anchor my position. “I’m going to throw a rope around you and pull you toward me. Don’t fight me. Okay?” Fucking dear God. If she did fight me, I didn’t want to even think about what would happen. In the early days of the rodeo, I’d wanted to be a calf roper. I’d kept up with the skill until the last few years. I prayed to God it was like riding a bike.
Whether or not she heard me I couldn’t tell. What I did know is that her lips were blue, her breathing shallow.
When my leg started to ache from the injury that had derailed my career, I almost laughed. Was this karma finding a way of getting to me again?
I shelved the bullshit and concentrated on the rope in my fingers, getting used to the feel of the twisted braid all over again while studying the weather conditions.
The rain was picking up in intensity once again, which would further hinder my rescue attempt. All I could think about was this was a one-shot deal. One shot I had to make.
“Try and stay still. Okay? I’ll get you out of here. I promise.”
Maybe she had heard me because she locked eyes with mine. For a few precious seconds I couldn’t waste, there was nothing else in this world but the two of us.
A loud crack of thunder caught my attention while pulling another whimper from her lips.
The flash of lightning was close. Too fucking close. We were out of time.
I rolled the rope over my head, taking a deep breath and holding the air in my lungs while refusing to allow any of the outside distractions to interfere.
In my youth, I could easily get into the zone of silence even with thousands of people cheering in the stands. Doing so was far more important today. I swung in a circle, forcing myself into a zone.
When I released the rope, a silent prayer drifted into my mind, something I’d promised myself I would no longer do.
Just as the rope neared the girl, her arms slipped free of the tree and she started to go under.
Fuck.
There was nothing I could do. I watched in slow motion as the rope fell inch by inch.
And somehow, it made its mark, falling around her shoulders and arms. With a hard snap, I secured the rope, immediately wrapping the end around my arm and pulling.
At this point, she was dead weight, unable to help, soaking wet and possibly unconscious. I refused to allow that to stop me, yanking and pulling, almost falling face first into the water.
Inch by inch, I pulled her closer, fighting with everything I had to keep her face and head from hitting a log or other debris. While I had a first aid kit, getting her to a hospital wasn’t in the cards until the water receded.
The work was exhausting, taking far longer than I’d hoped, but when she was safely in an area where she wouldn’t be swept away, I pitched myself forward. My grip on the wet fallen log blocked the current, allowing me to get a better footing, but it wasn’t going to last for long.
Like clockwork, I was reminded how powerful nature was, the truck that had to be hers dislodging, swept away within seconds.
Fuck. Two more steps and I had her in my arms, cradling her against my body. I reached for a pulse, thanking God when I felt it. She was alive, although her skin was clammy and her lips even bluer than I’d thought. I had to get her into warmth.
The trek back to the shore took a few minutes, but once I was on the pavement, I hoisted her tightly against me, trying to add some warmth as I made my way to my truck. Several pieces of the road had washed out, crawling a few feet closer to my vehicle. I needed to get the hell out of here.
She was shivering in my arms. I think I had a blanket in the back. As gingerly as possible, I eased her into the passenger seat, finding what I was looking for. Before I moved toward the driver’s seat, I eased the huge pocketbook she’d obviously tried to save onto the floor, placed the seatbelt in position and tucked the blanket around her. I’d jack up the heat for the drive. Just before closing the door, I brushed matted, wet hair from her face.
My breath caught in my throat as recognition kicked in, the sound almost as agonizing as the whimper she’d issued before.
Her eyelids fluttered open, but both eyes were dilated. When she smiled, I was certain the reason was involuntary. Then she murmured before brushing her hand across my arm, “Stephen.”
She was just about the only person now who called me by my real name.
As quickly as she’d awakened, she fell back into a restless sleep while I remained stunned.
I knew her. Every soft curve. Every inch of beautiful porcelain skin.
The one girl I’d craved so long ago, the same one I could never touch. That was a rule and loyalty I’d almost broken and had regretted.
All for a single taste that had haunted me for years.
“Kenzie.”
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