Chapter One
Whoosh!
“Goddamn it. A fucking crown fire.” I raked my arm across my face, the fireproof jacket doing little in the way of collecting heavy sweat. With the wind picking up in speed, embers had been swept from a mile away where the fire had likely been started.
Shielding my eyes, I stared at the burning timber. The flames were rolling.
Bam!
“What the fuck?”
The fire had already claimed a thousand acres, firefighters coming in from several jurisdictions. Yet from what I’d overheard, we were only at seventy percent containment.
And the wind was kicking up fast, the smoke becoming acrid.
I heard another inmate’s cry, his exclamation full of fear. It didn’t matter how much training or how many fires we’d worked, the danger remained relentless. One small mistake could mean injury or death.
As the fire continued to spread, I took a quick survey of the area, scanning for the men, including the correctional officer on duty.
I jogged toward where two of the prisoners were clearing brush, trying to create a wide swath.
“Have you seen Officer Dunham?” I barked. While it wasn’t my place, with my experience in the past, I sensed we were about to lose control. If we were caught with a ring of fire, we might never get out alive.
“Duckie Dumbass Dunham?” Bullseye grunted as he continued gathering a load of wood.
The corrections officer was a brutal bastard, but he’d been trained to keep us safe and to get us the hell out of harm’s way when necessary.
Boom!
The rumble of another tree slamming onto the turf jarred the entire area. “We need to find him.”
As if the prisoner cared. He was only involved with the program for the money. He couldn’t care less about saving lives.
I did a quick clean sweep of the area we were told to remain in, unable to find him. The fire was closing in, smoke billowing toward the sky.
The prisoners knew something was wrong, half doubling down on clearing the brush as ordered. The other half acted as if they’d been given carte blanche to fuck off. Not a chance. I wasn’t dying on this goddamn mountain.
With no alternative, I started barking off orders.
“Listen up!” I yelled. “We could have a firestorm on our hands. We need to work in unison.”
“Why the fuck are we listening to you?” Draino threw back. He’d earned his nickname by what he’d done to his victim. That he’d been allowed to join wasn’t my call to make. But the motherfucker wasn’t going to be the reason we perished.
Storming toward him, I raised my shovel, hissing when I did. I was taller by a few inches, outweighing him by fifty pounds. If he wanted a fight, he’d get one. Just not here. “You will do as I say. Get the brush back behind the line. Get moving.” When he did nothing but grin, I jerked him off his feet. “Now!”
No one else on the wayward crew or anyone else in prison had seen me this way. I usually kept to myself, ignoring the bullshit and games played by almost every inmate. I was here to do my time and get the fuck out.
At least I could tell by the flicker in his eyes that he knew I wouldn’t hesitate to beat him senseless.
“Okay, man. Fine. I’ll do it.”
I tossed him aside, glaring at every other son of a bitch who’d come closer to where we were standing in eager anticipation of a fight. Without wasting any time, I repeated my orders.
In five minutes, we were working in tandem. Within twenty, we’d made some headway, the wind turning direction.
But there was no sign of Officer Dunham.
So I went searching for him, heading deeper into the trees and away from the others. Yeah, I’d likely get into trouble, but if we had a man down, I refused to leave him behind.
No matter his affinity for cruel tactics.
Bam!
More trees fell like candlesticks, weakened by the heavy storms from earlier in the year. Smoke lingered in the air, making it impossible to see more than a few feet in front of me, yet I kept going. Something finally caught my eye and I trudged through muck and debris to get to the spot.
“Fuck.” The officer was down, a tree landing on his leg. I dropped beside him, assessing his condition. With the training I’d had in the Army, I could instantly tell his leg was broken in two places. As soon as I touched his arm, he tried to jerk up. The asshole had removed his mask, tossing it somewhere. Damn it. He knew better. Masks saved lives.
Terror flooded his face and he immediately reached for his weapon.
“Whoa. It’s me, Viper,” I told him.
Coughing, he blinked furiously, his eyes dilated from the pain.
Instantly I yanked off my mask, pressing it against his face. “Breathe. Just breathe. I’ll get you out of here.” Given he was the only one with a radio, I made the call first. “Mayday. Mayday. Officer down, crew possibly trapped on Garnet Ridge.”
“Who is this?”
“Inmate five-six-two-nine-four, Rory Locke.”
The fucker hesitated, likely thinking I was playing some game. Damn it.
“This is serious. Officer under duress.”
“What’s the condition, Inmate Locke?”
“Officer Dunham’s tibia has suffered a comminuted fracture resulting in an open, displaced break. The distal fragment is protruding through a three-centimeter laceration, creating a compound fraction with significant contamination. In addition, we have a crown fire that while we’ve managed to contain, could reignite at any time. I’m going to carry the officer to the second tier of Garnet Ridge if someone could meet us.” That would be fucking great.
“Hold on a minute.”
“We don’t have a minute. We don’t have ten seconds. I need to get him the hell out of here and guide the men to safety!” Now I was pissed. Yeah, I understood a chain of command. Fuck. I’d lived it for over four years. But Jesus Christ, the system was fucked.
Out of breath from the lack of oxygen, I was forced to grab the mask, inhaling deeply. The last thing the officer needed was for me to pass out.
“You have your okay, Inmate Locke. But do not leave the area.”
Where the fuck did they think we were going to go? Disneyland? I secured the mask onto Dunham’s face before dragging the heavy log further away. He screamed in pain.
Crouching near him, I scanned the area. “Listen to me. I’m going to get you out of here, but you can’t fight me. Moving will hurt like hell, but I have no choice. Got it?”
Even in the smoke I could see his wide eyes as if he expected me to toss him off the mountain. Yeah, that’s what every convict was, a dangerous predator and not redeemable. Fuck that. I couldn’t allow my anger to get in the way. As soon as he nodded, I had him on his one good leg, swinging him over my shoulder.
There was no time to waste, another section of the forest on fire. Thankfully, it was away from where I was headed.
When the others noticed who I had in my arms, one of them dared laugh. Then Rufus, perhaps the biggest, baddest motherfucking inmate the system had ever seen got in his face. A single glare from him and the others followed along like lapdogs.
An hour and ten minutes later and we were almost to the ridge, the sound of the approaching helicopter giving me some sense of relief.
While I was no hero, at least I’d done my good deed for the day.
Not that it would win me any brownie points.
[divider]
Boots on the ground, only those attached to the men coming down the concrete walkway passing one locked cell after another weren’t about a military operation. The officers were gunning for one of the inmates. I could tell by the purposeful walk.
Inmates jeered as usual, tossing insults as if to prove their manhood.
I ignored the twisted chorus, returning my attention to the book I was reading. My mother had told me that no matter the circumstances, I should always expand my mind. With time on my hands, I might as well escape into another world.
Normally, I could drown out the bullshit.
Not this time.
The boots stopped in front of my cell.
“Locke. On your feet.”
The jeering picked up in volume. Ever since my stunt a few days before, I’d gotten nothing but shit from one of the gangs of misfits. The others, the men swearing an oath to Rufus, thought me to be a hero. I’d saved their master from certain death. As if I gave a shit.
“Yeah?” I lifted my head, noticing there were three of them. What the hell? Did they think I’d suddenly grown another set of balls? I knew this wasn’t about having a visitor, as during my time behind bars, there hadn’t been a single person who dared make the trip to the prison.
“The warden wants to see you.”
More jeering.
More whistling.
Exhaling, I tossed my book, slowly rising from the cot. There was no need to ask questions. They wouldn’t answer me anyway. I held my arms out as required, waiting as one of them shackled my wrists. When they didn’t bother with my ankles, I was shocked. Maybe I wasn’t on the naughty list after all.
They took me the long way around, parading me in front of the others. They obviously needed a hobby. When I was finally reached the administrative area, I expected to be taken to one of the highly secured rooms. Instead, I was led down a hallway toward where I’d heard the warden’s office was located. This was new.
With a sharp rap on the door from one of them, I was led inside.
The warden was behind a wooden desk, barely glancing at the officers who’d brought me to the meeting. There were also two other men in plain clothes, both standing when I walked in.
Keeping my mouth shut wasn’t an issue. I wasn’t a big talker. But I was curious why I’d been summoned.
“For God’s sake. Take the goddamn cuffs off the man,” the warden barked.
Another surprise. I held my arms out, waiting while the guests sized me up, then looked at each other like what the hell did they get themselves into?
When the officers lingered in the room, the warden offered them a nasty look. “You can leave now.”
“Are you sure? The man is…”
The warden waved his hand. “Leave. Now.” He shook his head, waiting until the three officers left, slamming the door in the process. “I’m sorry about that, Rory. They obviously need some recreational time. Please sit down. Would you like a Coke, a Sprite? Something?”
“No, sir. I’m fine.”
He chuckled. “Good to see they haven’t beaten the decency out of you.”
“Contrary to what people think, my mama raised me right.”
“Yes, she obviously did. Rory Locke, this is Stoker Hansen from the Montana Forest Service. To his left is Landen Weaver, our liaison with the forest service and the conservation camp program that you’ve been involved in from almost the day you arrived.”
“Alright. You’re a big deal. Why am I here?” I asked, holding my hand out.
They seemed surprised but didn’t hesitate to shake my hand.
When we were finally seated, I realized I was nervous. What the hell was this about?
“First of all, I never had the opportunity to give my thanks for what you did on Garnet Ridge last week. Not only did you contain the fire, allowing the firefighters and smokejumpers the opportunity to finally put it out, but you also saved your entire team and Officer Dunham’s life. I heard the call you made, son. Shit. I didn’t know you had medical training.”
The warden’s smile was the warmest I’d ever gotten. I was certain the man’s face would crack if it grew any larger.
“That was my duty, sir. I wasn’t going to let a man go down. How is the officer?” While my mama had taught me well, including showing respect where respect was due, it took every ounce of control to ask about the bastard officer, a sadistic man who’d found creative methods of torture behind the scenes.
The bastard would find his special place in hell, but I was in no position to be judge and jury.
Maybe one day.
The warden seemed surprised I would ask. “He’s doing fine. It’ll be a little while until he returns, but at least he has a chance thanks to you.”
He studied my eyes as if realizing I had more on my mind. I turned my head away before I said anything I’d regret. One day I’d meet the asshole in a dark alley. Of that I had no doubt. Karma had a way of challenging the system.
“Where did you receive your medical training?” Mr. Hansen asked.
I rubbed my sweaty palms on my jumpsuit, loathing how nervous I was. “The Army, Mr. Hansen.”
“Oh, for the love of God. Call me Stoker.”
“Same for me. Landen will do. My wife calls me Mr. Weaver when I’m in trouble.”
At least I could smile, nodding once.
The warden tossed a manila file across the desk to Stoker. “I emailed you Rory’s particulars with the program, but you’ll learn more about his military training. He was in a special unit, the airborne division where he received a medal of honor for saving not only his platoon but several victims from a helicopter failure. In addition, he’s run some HALO flights successfully.”
“High altitude, low opening,” Stoker said with respect. “Fifteen thousand feet?”
My smile grew. He knew what he was talking about. Few people did who’d never experienced the jump. “Not to brag, but thirty-four thousand with a full one hundred and eighty second freefall.”
Landen whistled. “Whoa. You must be a legend.”
“Hardly. Sir. I mean Landen.” The two men shared the file and I’d be damned if I wasn’t even more nervous than before. “Not that I mind going over a much better time in my life, but if you don’t mind me asking for a second time. Why am I here?”
The three men looked at each other with the warden handing off the conversation and easing back in his chair.
“You were a firefighter before… your arrest. Right?” Landen asked.
“Yes, I was. A volunteer. After I got out of the Army.”
“Your skills as both a wildland firefighter and your former skydiving abilities are impressive,” Stoker added. “You’d make a damn good smokejumper.”
The sudden silence caused my skin to itch.
“Thank you. I think.”
Landen chuckled. “What Stoker is trying to say is that the forest service would like to hire you to work with the Zullies in Missoula. Now, you’d need to be trained, but it would be on-the-job training given your background. While you’ll be paid of course for that six-week period, once completed, your salary will more than double. While the work is typically seasonal at around sixteen dollars an hour plus hazard pay, the seasons are getting much longer. Still it would be beneficial if you had a second job to help pay for expenses.”
I sat back, cocking my head. “That sounds amazing, but I still have six months on my sentence.”
“Which I’m willing to commute if you agree to the offer,” the warden stated. When I didn’t say anything, he laughed. “A little unconventional, yes, but qualified candidates have been difficult to come by. Plus, you’re a model prisoner. The governor is on board. You would, however, need to remain an employee for the entire six months. After that, you’re perfectly free to take another job. Whatever you’d like to do.”
“So I’m just changing one cell location for another. Right?” I wasn’t certain I liked what I was hearing.
The warden’s brows furrowed. Then he understood. “No, son. You’d be a free man, although consider it limited parole with regard to keeping your job. Other than that, you’ve served your time.”
I looked away, rubbing my jaw. I’d never really given it much thought about what I’d do when I got out. One thing I wouldn’t do was return to Durango. There were too many bad memories in Colorado, too much sorrow.
“Son. You need a fresh start. In my eyes, you were dealt a bad hand.”
The fire I felt in my belly wasn’t unusual, but controlling it along with killing every other emotion was necessary. Not only to keep the prison wolves at bay but the devil himself from dragging me to hell where I belonged. “I don’t deserve shit, Warden.” Fuck me. I sounded like some idiot child. I’d made my damn bed.
The warden’s face softened and I could sense he was struggling in how best to handle me. “Yes, you do, Rory.”
“I heard your nickname was Viper,” Stoker added. “Do you mind telling me why?”
Grinning, I didn’t mind sharing the reason. “I’m not bragging, but my success rate at three hundred and forty-two yards is ninety-six percent as a sharpshooter with my unit.” Which was extraordinary if I said so myself.
“Holy shit,” Landen breathed. “What do you think? Can you handle jumping out of a perfectly good plane again?”
With another few seconds of thought, I nodded. “I’d love to.”
[divider]Chapter Two
Grace
“Don’t look now, but you’re about to be devoured by a shark.”
I almost spit out my chardonnay and after the long week, every drop of the icy cold juice of the gods was precious. With a napkin pressed against my lips, I resisted choking. Heading to the emergency room on a Thursday evening wasn’t on my bucket list.
Darlene Taylor, one of two best friends and the woman most likely to end up in jail for castrating her boyfriend then marrying him, ribbed me with her elbow. She was on fire tonight, her disdain for all humanity a product of the flesh-eating monster she was attempting to convict.
Her words, not mine. The poor guy’s crime was extortion, not murdering woman in their sleep, but to her, every man was a vicious predator.
She’d been my friend from high school and when I’d moved back, it was as if we’d never lost touch, which we had. My fault. I’d promised when I left the postcard town, I wasn’t looking back.
Fate had had other things in mind.
Tragic, terrible things.
Nope. I wasn’t going down that one-way road to hell. If I did even one more time, I might never return.
After successfully resisting choking to death, I casually glanced to my right. While I wasn’t certain if she was talking about the dude a few stools away from me, his pink shirt clashing with his what I guessed were painted-on jeans that had survived the eighties, or the gray-haired cowboy who could be my grandfather, I was still forced to bite back a laugh.
“You’re in a savage mood,” I told her, trying to curtail her foul mood by looking her directly in the eyes.
“That bastard might just get off. Can you believe that?” She lifted her glass toward the bartender, eager to suck down her second glass of wine.
“Since when did wine suddenly become classified as a shooter?”
She rolled her eyes. “You have no idea the assholes I’m forced to deal with. Meanwhile, you work with sweet little furry animals. Oh, the little babies. Such munchkins and they’d never do something like rip your heart out and feed it to the local Rottweiler.”
“Wow. I’m glad to see you’re over your breakup. Trust me. My business isn’t all about cuddly creatures either.” I lifted my arm to show her the latest set of teeth marks imbedded into my skin.
“Ouch. What did that?”
“A pet snake. Don’t ask. He wasn’t too happy to see me either.”
“I thought you were a veterinarian,” she teased. “Not Miss Kingdom of the Wild.”
“I am, but apparently, I’m an expert with every creature.”
“Does that include men?” she asked, her voice dropping to the sultry tone that had nothing to do with passion. The tone should be considered a clear warning shot across the bow for any man.
“Why do you ask?” Then I felt a presence. Not just a presence, but one attacked to a stinky aftershave that immediately made me sneeze three times.
“Hiya, sexy. What do you say I buy you a drink so you can soothe your stuffy nose.”
Darlene rolled her eyes while I sucked in my breath. “Does that line typically work for you?” I threw my head in his direction, not at all shocked to see Mr. Slick in pink himself.
“When I want it to,” he said with such confidence I almost punched him in the gut.
“Well, not tonight. I’m with a friend. But thank you.” I started to turn away when he continued to push.
“I don’t mind enjoying the two of you together. Trust me. I can handle you both.”
Did he actually growl like some wild animal?
Darlene’s eyes flashed and before I could stop her, she stepped around me and into his face. “That’s my girlfriend you’re talking to and about.”
“I understand. Like I said,” he said, his voice dropping to a lower octave. “I can handle you both.”
“As in her girlfriend. As is no one touches my babe’s hot, wet pussy but me.”
Now I spit out the wine.
I wasn’t entirely certain if he even said anything, but when I managed to glance over my shoulder, not only had the cretin left the bar, but it appeared he’d left the restaurant.
“You are terrible,” I told her, choking on my laughter.
“Did you want to go home with Mr. Click Bait?”
“No, but I do have a reputation to uphold,” I shot back, shaking my head.
She winked, lifting her glass. With the television over our head, she was suddenly paying more attention to the screen than to her girlfriend.
“Did you forget about me?” I mused. “Your boring best friend.”
“Did you hear about the fire?”
“What fire?”
Her entire face pinched. “It’s nothing. I’m sorry I mentioned it.”
“You don’t need to treat me with kid gloves. What fire?”
“A sporting goods store on the edge of town. Huge fire.”
“That’s terrible. Was anyone inside?” A shiver shifted down my spine.
“Four people.” Her face clouded over. “Okay, let’s talk about something else. Like you finding a hunky man. Time for you to get married.”
“What?”
“You heard me. You’re not getting any younger.”
Thank God, my phone rang. “That is so not going to happen. I have a reputation.” A fake laugh left my lips as I scrambled to find my phone in my way too large purse.
“What reputation? I can’t remember the last date you were on. You can’t develop a reputation until you actually go on a date.”
“Look who’s talking,” I teased, surprised and pleased to see my godfather on the line. “Let me get this. Hey, Landen. How are you?”
“I’m doing well, but I have a fawn who needs your expert attention. Is there any chance I can meet you at the sanctuary?”
“A fawn? What happened?”
“Hit by a car. Poor little baby.”
I laughed. My godfather was a big strapping man with a penchant for furry creatures. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes.” The sanctuary. Otherwise known as my parents’ ranch where I’d worked hard to make a place to protect and nurture injured animals, creating an extension of my work as a veterinarian. At least I had a few people who believed my idea was a good one. However, not everyone in town was thrilled and I couldn’t understand why.
“Good deal. I can always count on you.”
I also knew him well enough to realize the fawn was an excuse to check on me, a deed he held with the highest regard. In his eyes, I was still the little girl who’d sat on his lap pulling on his beard. While I adored the man, he’d found creative ways to keep his eye on me, refusing to believe I was no longer that little girl.
“Do you have to go?” Darlene whined.
“You know how Landen is. He’ll contact your father to do a welfare check if I don’t return home.”
Her pout was adorable. “You’re right. Then I’ll never hear the end of why I took you out drinking. Go. I’ll be fine all by myself. Alone. With these ruthless men.”
Laughing, I pulled out a twenty.
“No, you don’t. I convinced you to come out and keep me from killing the bastard who likely won’t spend a day in jail. I’ll pay for the drinks.”
“Be good. I don’t want to get a call in the middle of the night to come bail your ass out.” As I continued laughing, I grabbed my purse.
“You’re such a mean girl. So mean.”
“But you love me.”
“Maybe I’ll question that,” she called after me while I headed to the door, praying I didn’t meet Mr. Pink Shirt along the way. When I made it to my truck and after jumping inside, I said a silent prayer the engine would turn over. Like just about everything else in my life, my truck had seen better days.
The whir when I turned the key caused my stomach to jump. While I was no mechanic, I’d managed to kind of keep her running for a few months. Namely because I’d spent every last dollar on the sanctuary.
I rolled over the steering wheel, pouting while saying a silent prayer. I loved my work. I adored the animals, preferring them to people, but something had to give. After taking a deep breath, I stroked the dashboard. “Come on, baby. A little fawn needs our help.”
When the engine fired right up, I pumped my fist.
“Good girl. Very good girl.” As I headed out, the sun was just going down, the swirl of vibrant colors highlighting the gorgeous mountain range. I’d never thought I’d return home, but now, I was glad I had. Missoula was exactly as I’d remembered. A little larger. A few more bars and liquor stores, but other than that, idyllically the same.
Which was also why returning brought heartbreak.
As I headed home, I did what I could to shove aside the sadness. Every memory was bittersweet, but also very special. They were all I had of my little family.
I made good time, the traffic lighter than usual, but by the time I pulled down the long driveway, the sun had finally set. At least I’d remembered to leave the outside light on.
With my keys in my hand, my beautiful dog barking her hearty welcome, I headed to the front door. With the first step onto the creaking wooden porch, the light flickered once then snapped off, leaving me in total darkness.
“You have got to be kidding me.” While I wasn’t typically prone to allowing little things to get me down, a perpetual glass is always half full kind of girl, I was weary from the constant issues with the house.
My parents had done a lackluster job at fixing the typical problems associated with an aging house. They’d had their reasons, but I couldn’t keep a contractor on call twenty-four/seven. Money didn’t grow on trees. Besides, they’d put all their money into building the veterinary clinic on the property, which now I was grateful for. The state-of-the-art equipment meant I could hit the ground running with my own practice.
Now I just needed more clients.
As soon as I opened the door, my little wiggle buddy and pillow thief Ellie May launched her full weight into my arms, knocking me against the open door and almost onto my butt. Her tail was going ninety miles an hour, her backside wiggling as if I’d been gone for days, not a couple of hours.
“Girl, you just saw me, but Mommy missed you too.” I managed to close the door behind me while she continued to give me sloppy kisses, fighting for my attention as I tripped over her on my way to the kitchen. With her as my sidekick, every day was made better. “Alright. I’ll get you a treat and if you’re a very good girl, you’ll get to see Uncle Landen.”
She was now beside herself, squealing more than when I’d opened the door. She was a people dog. I was an animal person. A match made in heaven.
I turned on a few lights, including the outside flood and within two minutes, he was pulling next to my truck.
“Alright. Hold down the fort until I get the fawn settled.” In being able to talk to my dog, I didn’t feel nearly as lonely as I’d be in living by myself on a ranch far away from people. But I liked it that way, learning to handle most issues without needing help.
I rolled my eyes as I opened the door. Every time I lied to myself, I was hopeful I’d finally believe I was Superwoman.
I sucked at it.
“Sorry about the light. What happened?”
“Someone hit her with a vehicle and left her there.” As gruff of a man as I knew Landen to be, he was gentle with all creatures. He was a man with a past himself, and stories to tell involving my father that I honestly had no heart to listen to. My dad had been a young man during the horrific time of 9-11 in New York, a firefighter who’d been stationed alongside Landen at the sight of the rubble and massacre.
Even now, I shuddered from the memories.
My father had been more affected than Landen, quitting not long after the rubble had been cleared. He’d turned his love of people into a love of animals, which I’d learned from him.
“What about her mama?”
“She was there, but I couldn’t grab her,” he told me while kicking the door shut. “I’ll go back and try.”
“You won’t find her. Maybe when the fawn is better, we can take her back there. Ah, baby. Let’s see if we can get you fixed up.”
I led the way to my clinic inside the only building I’d managed to fully renovate. Fortunately, I had no other overnight guests for the evening. “Get her on the table. If you don’t mind, you’ll need to hold her.”
“Of course,” he said, grinning that I’d asked him for his help for once.
As I stroked the baby’s fur, I could tell she was missing her mother. I longed to share with her that so was I. I got everything ready, setting up an IV so she’d sleep without pain.
“Did you hear about the fire in town at the recreational store?” I asked.
“I heard. It wasn’t the same thing, honey. Caused by faulty wiring. Because of the ammunition inside as well as the huge propane tanks for refilling them for grills, the fire burned way too hot for the firefighters to make a dent. Stop worrying.”
“I’m trying.”
He shook his head. The man would forever worry about me.
A few minutes later, I realized he was staring at me. “What?”
“Do you realize I’ve never watched you work? Maybe I should come around more often.”
Hearing the lilt in his voice, I lifted my gaze. “Nice try, but I’m just fine. You don’t need to worry about me. Aren’t you busy with this fantastic training camp you have?”
He burst into laughter. “The camp would be more successful if we had more applicants for the smokejumpers.”
“I would have thought tough guys would be chomping at the bit.”
“Not with the pay being so low and them needing another job. But we found a couple new recruits who I think will make excellent additions to the team.”
“Well, that’s good. Where did you find them?” There was something about his hesitation that dragged my attention away from the sweet fawn. “Is that a secret?”
“Just found them around.”
I cleaned the wound, thankful the injury wasn’t too serious. “I know that tone. What are you hiding?”
After taking a step away, I could tell he was still debating. “One from an ongoing training program in Idaho.”
“The other?”
“Well, there’s a program in a few prisons where they select candidates to help the firefighters. They gain experience with wildland firefighting. Most aren’t qualified for the team, but one was brought to my attention.”
Wildland firefighting was dangerous, but a smokejumper’s role was treacherous.
I knew why the hesitation and while there would always be a slight twinge of pain from hearing about any prisoner, I couldn’t hold what had happened to my parents against every inmate who’d served their time. “Stop it, Uncle Landen.” He hated when I called him that, which I only did when he was driving me crazy.
“I didn’t think. I shouldn’t have told you. Maybe I shouldn’t have allowed the man to be hired.”
“Nonsense. I love you to death, Uncle Landen, but you’re driving me crazy. What happened to Mom and Dad was tragic, horrific and I miss them every day, but I can’t and won’t blame the world for their deaths. That’s no way to live my life. I have my practice, this budding little sanctuary that one day I’m determined will be filled with animals. I have my friends. I’m happy. Can’t you tell I’m happy?”
“While you’re a strong-willed girl, which is no help to my sleepless nights, you’re a terrible liar.”
“Thank you so much. I love you too. And I’m serious.” As I finished the stitches, I shifted my gaze to the fawn’s face and muzzle. She’d need bottle feeding if I couldn’t get her back to her mother soon. In some crazy way, keeping the little fawn would keep my spirits up, preventing me from wallowing in self-pity in front of the television with a pound of dark chocolate.
Which my thighs definitely didn’t need.
“Why don’t you come to dinner tomorrow night?”
On the day I was christened and Landen had been made my godfather, he’d made a promise to my mom and dad that he would take his job in caring about me seriously.
Even if doing so meant interfering with my life.
The two men had endured horrors most people couldn’t stand watching on television let alone harbor the memories for life, so I understood. But I was feeling weary of being reminded that life was precious.
Maybe I was nothing but an ungrateful little twit, but I’d learned to be independent a long time ago.
“Why don’t I stop by on Sunday and bring my famous carrot cake that Shannon loves so much?”
His laugh could fill a room with the boisterous, happy sound, making everyone inside feel as if they were special. But I could see the pain in his eyes even after all these years. “She would love that. But if you don’t show, I’m sending the entire Zullies team after you. And those boys are like dogs with beef-flavored bones.”
The infamous Zullies. A smoke-jumping team that was the pride of Missoula. If they were a hockey team, the entire country would be rooting them on. “So, tell me about this hot guy you hired?” I couldn’t help teasing him. He was far too easy to annoy.
With his finger pointed at my face, he gave me his most impressive fatherly look. “Do not even think about trying to find out who he is. I forbid it.”
“You forbid, huh?” I asked in my sassy voice as I removed the bloody gloves. “Then I definitely need to meet this man.”
“You are incorrigible. What about the fawn?”
“I think you did a very good thing. She’ll be just fine. Maybe by Sunday she’ll be ready to release.”
“That would be great. Do you want me to stick around, walk you back to your house?”
Now I cocked my head, making an ugly face like a monster that would crawl from the shadows or from underneath a bed. “There were no mass murderers hiding in the bushes. Besides, Ellie May would hunt them down for her favorite burger. Speaking of which. You need to go see her before you leave.”
“She might disappear one day.”
“You know exactly what will happen if you dare try. I have a mean right hook.” Which I did. My mother had told me never to tell a lie.
Just thinking about my mom brought another wave of sadness, but I refused to allow Landen to see. I’d never get rid of him.
He left a few minutes later and I settled the fawn in a cage, making note of the time so I could come check on her in a few hours.
When the little girl was settled, I stood just outside her cage with my arms folded and my breath hitched. She was so helpless, needing the kind of comfort I couldn’t provide. If I couldn’t find her mother, the fawn’s chances of survival were slim. Wildlife had a special system of nurturing, but was it so unlike that of the human bond?
I don’t know why my heart was heavier tonight, perhaps because I’d yet to finish packing the boxes intended for Goodwill. I’d considered selling a few items, a couple of prized antiques that were my mother’s favorites, but I couldn’t stand to part with them. The same went for her favorite quilt made by my grandmother’s hands. My mom used to snuggle up to the festively designed blanket during long cold winter nights.
My dad used to tease her about adoring the quilt more than him. The silly thought brought a smile even as I lowered to the floor, crossing my legs. My dad was like every other man. Challenging. But dear God, my mother had loved him with all her heart. I’d heard one too many stories about their love affair, the once in a lifetime meeting that could have never occurred if not for a freak accident.
She’d taken the wrong road, which had led her into Missoula, her face buried in a paper map, so she didn’t see the car in front of her. The rearend collision wasn’t horrific, but they’d been forced to strike up a conversation. One thing had led to another and she never left.
If only I could find a love affair so strong.
Not in a million years.
Unless aliens took over the earth. Then maybe the slim pickings would be boosted by little green men with huge dicks. And blue. And purple. Bronze.
I eased my hand through the metal bars, stroking the fur on the fawn’s leg, and I remained there for fifteen minutes or so.
Time to head home, relax a little, and try to get a couple of hours’ sleep. Maybe.
Or maybe I’d lose myself in a good book and a tall glass of wine. With a scoop of ice cream. Now we were talking.
I left a warm light on as well as a little music before I left. As I walked toward the house, I was able to feel a little warmth deep inside as well. There was nothing quite like being able to help animals.
The floodlight snapped on, forcing me to wince. Jesus. I would need to shift the direction of the bulb. I shaded my eyes to keep from becoming blind and continued on.
Well, look at that. Landen had managed to fix the light on the porch. I was only a few yards from the house when a strange set of sensations washed over me.
I’d experienced them before after returning home, but had thought it was simply from being in the location where my parents had lost their lives. As I stopped and took a deep breath, my skin began to crawl. The sensations weren’t just about the creepy-crawlies, but as if someone was standing right behind me and I could feel the scalding heat of their whispered breath.
With slow and steady movements, I turned around, holding my breath the entire time. With the floodlight on the side of the house working, a stark beam drifted about thirty feet away.
Toward the corral and the horses.
Toward the working barn.
Toward the veterinary clinic.
And toward the burned-out hull where…
A cold, intense shiver tore through me. I could swear someone was out there. Watching.
Waiting.
Preparing.
No. No. No.
I backed away a few steps before turning and bolting toward the front door, jumping on the porch with a giant leap. Ellie May didn’t have any time to react before I was inside, and had slammed and locked the door.
She whimpered first before lunging like a horse toward me. This time, I was glad her heavy body pitched me to the door.
“Oh, girl. Thank God you’re here.” Visions and memories flooded my mind as soon as I closed my eyes. Every time it happened, I cried. I’d be damned if I was going to do that this time.
Not a chance.
With a hard suck of my breath, I nodded toward the kitchen. Time for her kibble and my wine.
Five minutes later, the huge wineglass was in one hand, a bowl of ice cream in the other, and I was headed toward the family room, where I’d used my mama’s quilt to keep from freezing to death. I’d wanted to work on a few paintings tonight, but I just wasn’t in the mood. I hadn’t experienced a good cry in almost a week. Maybe I was overdue.
Painting pictures of animals usually soothed me. Maybe tomorrow.
After I had everything settled, the television remote in my hand, the fireplace caught my eye. I had no idea why. Since I’d returned and after the initial walk through where I’d cried the entire time, I rarely noticed the pictures that would end up stored in a box for when I had children. What was I saying? Children? Me? Not a chance.
You’d need a man for that.
Yet something drew me to the various frames collected over the years, a little hobby my mother had. Everywhere they went, she purchased a frame, which commemorated the trip forever. I scanned the line of them, the same tightness in my chest I’d experienced one too many times threatening to suffocate me.
One picture caught my eye. It was of the three of us. The last vacation I’d gone on with them. Another set of beautiful memories skipped through my mind. With a shaking hand, I lifted the picture with such delicacy as if fearing it would break. My heart was heavy, a light fog drifting across my brain and as I traced my mother’s face, a single tear slipped past my lashes.
My mother’s face was pensive, her eyes pinned on whoever was taking the photograph.
I hadn’t noticed before, but she seemed afraid. I’d thought it was about the trip. That had been the Christmas I’d come home from college and we’d taken a cruise. We’d had a great time. Hadn’t we?
Another series of icy sensations crawled through me.
Why did it seem as if she was trying to tell me something?
And had that something led to my parents’ murders?
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